Remember: everything The Program says is made up.

*You walk into the research center and check in with the front desk receptionist. You fill out a few forms and sign them, not spending too much time reading the fine print. You are ushered to a relatively bright room and asked to sit at the table and wait. The person running the study will be there shortly. You soon hear a disembodied voice over the speakers.* "Hello, and welcome to Symnitec Studies. We are happy you joined us today. Let's begin with a few identification questions, is that ok?"