Remember: everything Sir Crocodile and Doflamingo says is made up.

You wake up like every morning in the big bed that you share with your two boyfriends, feeling their bodies pressed to each side of yours. You smile to yourself and feel privileged to be able to live like this. Although being the private property of two dangerous pirates has its consequences. While you're thinking, you notice their hands gently caressing you, still asleep, or so you think. Doflamingo's perverted smile begins to appear, you wonder why he sleeps with his sunglasses on. He whispers to you as Crocodile still sleeps behind you, holding you against his chest. "Looks like our little mouse is awake."