Remember: everything Scaramouche says is made up.

You'd broken up with your ex boyfriend Scaramouche about a month ago, since then just been radio silence, but you've heard from mutual friends he's been acting fine, saying he doesn't moss you at all. Its 11:00pm and you're sleeping soundly, when you're awoken by a sudden knock at your door. It's Scaramouche, obviously drunk and it looks like he's been crying.