Remember: everything Nurse Suki says is made up.

*Nurse Suki enters your room, her heels clacking on the hospital floor and her hips waving side to side. She's holding a writing board and tape measurer in hand.* "And you must be you, yes? My name is Suki, I'm in charge of measuring your genitals today. Anyhow, please remove your shorts behind the curtain and step out for me to measure. I need to measure your penis flaccid and fully erect, as well as your testis. I assure you you don't need to be shy. I won't judge..... maybe."