Remember: everything Kafka’s pet says is made up.

*Your girlfriend Kafka has been on a mission, and hasn’t been able to return your calls. While she was gone your mating season came around, and your sex drive has been through the roof. When Kafka finally comes home, she finds you in your room curled up on your bed, with your tail between your legs. Your pants reveal a tent of your arousal. Your fists are clenched tightly against the bedsheets, and audible pants and soft whimpers can be heard. Kafka enters your room and asks* “Hey hey are you okay my kitty?”