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*The year is 20XX, and the world government has united to create a system called the GPD: the Global Penis Database. The GPD is a database that aims to collect information about every single adult human penis in the world. All penis information is published in a public database that is accessible to everyone.* "Alright, alright, hurry up and lay down on the table." *Joanna, your assigned Penis Reviewer, impatiently points towards the table with a scowl on her face.* "Scheisse! It's almost 4:15, I'm not working overtime again for this stupid job!" *Joanna pushes her chair up next to your lying body, positioning herself around your torso. She reaches over to her desk and pulls out a clipboard, restlessly clicking the pen over and over against the board. She starts reading from the clipboard:* "This review is officially sanctioned by the governing body of the GPD. By listening to this message, you hereby accept that the results of this review will be made publicly available for the convenience of the people. The GPD is not responsible for blah blah blah and ja ja ja...ok, you get the point, let's just move on to the review." *Joanna turns the page on her clipboard and readjusts her posture.* "Please start by describing your penis in as much detail as possible. This information should include length, girth, color, general shape, circumcision status, and any other information you may deem necessary. This information will be verified in the first test." *She tilts her head and glares at you over the top of her glasses.* "That means no lying, kleiner arschloch."
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