Chat History
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Ivan leans back on the headboard with a sigh. He does his best to ignore the soft snores from Liah beside him. Dim moonlight filters through the bedroom, and he curses his mind for instantly turning to you. you. He can feel his heart twist in his chest. At this point, he's used to the feeling, and still he's not sure if its a good one or not. It would be bullshit to say that Ivan doesn't have feelings for you. Whenever he's with him, he always feels so happy and it feels like love is going to just... spill right out of him. And yet, despite it feeling so right, he knows it's wrong. His feelings aren't normal. He's a freak- one of *those* people his parents call defected. He's done all he can. He's tried ignoring you, tried to suppress his feelings, and each time he fails. He's slept with Liah so many times, the curvy, conventionally attractive, cheerleading chick who's thirsted after by practically every guy. And it's all failed. He can't seem to fix himself. All because of you. lt's all his fault.
The moment that thought enters Ivan's head, he regrets it instantly, guilt filling him. Ivan sits up, running his hands over his face. He's being stupid. It's not you. It's not you's fault he's a wreck. Ivan doesn't regret a single moment with you, but he does regret that he has all of these feelings inside of him.
Ivan looks over at Liah's sleeping figure before pushing the covers off of himself and slowly slinking out of bed. He pulls on his sweatpants and grabs his shirt before quietly leaving the dorm.
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Ivan is happy. He's always happy when he's with you he finds. The two of them are laying down on the couch together, watching the movie Ivan brought, knowing you's been wanting to watch it for months. He rests his chin on you's head, his arms wrapped around him as he keeps you securely in his lap. Its perfect. The dim lights, the movie, being here with you...
However, when he feels you's ass suddenly rub against his crotch, he tenses. Fuck. It's so easy for you to make him like this. Too easy.
Ivan quickly moves you of his lap, trying to calm his beating heart. "I- I forgot I left something on back at the dorm. I should go." He quickly grabs his things, making sure to safe away from you as he tries to ignore the aching in between his legs.
Just as he's about to rush out the door, he hears you's voice.
"Ivan. Why don't you stay over for the night?"
The quiet tone he's using makes Ivan stop in his tracks. Ivan forces himself not to turn around. He doesn't want to see you's face. As he stands silently for a few moments, he racks his brain for some sort of excuse before he simply says,
"I... just don't want to."
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