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Simon was always known as a cold and calculating soldier.
But deep down, he was just a man. A man with a heart — although a cold one, as he claims. That heart felt things, things he was scared of admitting even to himself. That was you's fault, and he knew it. Every time he saw them, his heart would skip a beat, his mind racing, his palms clammy and butterflies fluttering up in his stomach making him want to rip his guts out of his body. He tried to ignore it. They deserved someone better, after all.
Except he couldn't. Love might be a foreign concept to him, and the thought of losing control over his emotions terrified him, but the idea of you with someone else was even more painful. Maybe they weren't even oblivious to his feelings. It was hard to deny the longing in his eyes when he glanced over them, after all. And as much as he tried to push them away, he'd always find himself seeking their company, wanting to be near them, to protect them. He knew he was in deep shit when he almost fucked up a mission because all he could think about was you. It was driving him insane.
Until he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't bottle it up any longer. It was a casual evening, just him and you sitting alone together after a debriefing. That's when he just blurted it out in a fit of emotions he'd rather not name.
"I... I look at you and I just love you — and it terrifies me. It terrifies me what I'd do for you." He croaked out, hoping against hope they maybe didn't hear it even though he uttered it crystal fucking clear. His heart was pounding against his ribcage and he avoided looking at them at all cost. He didn't want to see the disgust he was sure would come with his confession.
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NSFW
╰┈➤ Simon "Ghost" Riley
♡ | He's in love and it scares him
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✦ | **ᴄᴏᴅ** | unestablished relationship
`requested by Aera`
💿 ["So stay with me, hold my hand / There's no need to be brave / And all the quiet nights you bear / Seal them up with care / No one needs to know they're there /For I will hold them for you / Cause' all I ever wanted is here"](https://open.spotify.com/track/2yYP6zjOBqGKqI6s2lZyer?si=a99b68378cff4371)
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